An Open Letter To Advertisers Everywhere

You want to know what I do with your inserts and “cardboard-like” pages in favorite magazines of mine? 

I tear them out.  That’s right, the first thing I do when I get a new magazine is furiously tear our all these little obstructions to my reading. 

Guess what else?  Sometimes I even look at what they are and make a mental note to NEVER buy that product or subscribe to that service etc.  That’s right.  I know it hurts…but it’s true.  Also, you should know that I’m not alone in this.  I know MANY people who do exactly the same thing.  Maybe they’re not as angry and grumbly as me when they do it, but they do it.  So I don’t know what your PR/Advertising/Marketing department is telling you, but they’re idiots.  The “people” do not like you, or your methods. 

You know what else we don’t like?  The pop ups on our TV screens that interrupt the bottom third (sometimes bottom half) of the TV screen when we’re trying to watch a program.  We especially don’t like this when we happen to be watching subtitled and cannot read what is happening on our program…or when god forbid there is actually something important going on in the bottom third of the screen – I know that seems crazy – CRAZY that the whole screen would actually be important, but it is…so you should know we’re pretty pissed about this new development.  I know you’re all really frustrated because we’ve found a loophole in your ridiculous commercials scheme by buying things like Tivos and DVR’s and fast forwarding through all ad space, but you should know this, I don’t buy, watch, or support any show that advertise this way.  It’s my only silent protest (slightly less silent now that I’m talking about it). 

Okay, that’s all for today.  Thanks for listening.

2 comments

  1. TK42ONE’s avatar

    The only way I’ve found to exact a little revenge is to send those credit card applications back. I take the contents (and sometimes a used tissue or two) and stuff it in that pre-paid envelope and ship it back. Makes me feel good that they had to pay for the postage and got trash in return. And it keeps the Post Office running. Now if I could only find a way to do that with those damn cards in the magazines.

  2. 1979semifinalist’s avatar

    TK42ONE: i’ll be trying that trick…thanks for the tip.

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