spidergirl

My friend Josh sent me this link to Marvel’s “Women of Marvel” Halloween Costumes and said he thought it would be good “fodder for my blog”.  And he’s so right.  But I must be tired of fighting this unwinable (not a word) fight because all I can come up with is REALLY MARVEL? REALLY!?!

Actually, I tried, but even exhausted, I can’t just say nothing.  I know we (I’m speaking for all women everywhere here – so that should tell you how tired I am) do sometimes like to dress up like sluts for Halloween – it’s a nice opportunity to get our slutty selves out there with less public shaming, cause it’s Halloween and well, anything goes!  And we can just pretend tomorrow that it didn’t happen!  But c’mon Marvel, do you really have to stoop to the absolute lowest freaking common denominator?

First of all, a superheroine costume is pretty slutty to begin with – all skin tight and ridiculous – it’s not like you actually have to make it sluttier.  I mean, until now I wasn’t even sure it was possible in some cases.  The Spider-girl costume is perhaps the most disgusting, because, I don’t know, she’s SPIDERGIRL.  I mean, I’ll give you the Emma Frost/White Queen costume, because frankly, compared to some of Emma’s outfits that costume is actually pretty tame (although SUPER tacky – Emma would never be caught dead in that shit).  BUT WTF…AN AMERICAN DREAM COSTUME?  That’s barely even a real character!  And that’s not remotely HER COSTUME!

I’m sorry, AM I SHOUTING?! IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE I AM INSANE WITH RAGE.

Ahem.  Yeah, “American Dream” barely a real superhero…I mean, even comic nerds that see you in this costume are going to be all…”Really?  American Dream?  She’s uh…so…uh…minor. Where’s Storm, or Jean Grey, or She-Hulk, or Ms. Marvel, or…I mean the list is endless.”  So those of you who don’t know about superheroes, you might want to stick with Hooker Spider-girl, or Working Girl Black Cat, which, though completely fucking ridiculous, are at least superheroes people will actually recognize…sort of.

5 comments

  1. gabrie’s avatar

    no argument about the laziness and total lack of accuracy in the costumes.. But there is a Spider- Girl. Had her own title. titles really.

    but in costume as Spider- girl or in civvies as May Parker I don’t think I ever saw her in a skirt.

  2. 1979semifinalist’s avatar

    gabrie: yeah, that’s a typo (now corrected) – I mean, you’re referring to me calling her Spiderwoman instead of Spidergirl, right? I just meant (and it was a totally lazy post as I was too tired to be writing – so my meaning is obviously not clear) I just meant that she’s Spidergirl – not hooker meets spider girl or something…Spidergirl to me, like Supergirl, has always been a pretty…uh…what’s a word that doesn’t sound disparaging…sweet maybe? Ah, that still sounds disparaging…but kind of pure and the opposite of slutty (like an Emma Frost type character)…so seeing Spidergirl in the most whorish of all the costumes (possibly Black Cat excepted) seemed even more kind of horrible and grotesque.

    But I fully admit to not being clear about what I was thinking/feeling in my post.

    The whole skirt thing is just ridiculous. I’ve ranted on here about how I hate to see Supergirl still in a skirt (even though we’re slowly progressing with the biker shorts underneath) but to create costumes for characters that would never wear a skirted costume (Black Cat and Spidergirl in particular) just gets me so pissy.

  3. thejamminjabber’s avatar

    Haha, sorry to get you so worked up. How do you feel about naked Spiderman?

    http://www.bodypainting.co.uk/portfolio/bodypainting2/spiderman.html

  4. 1979semifinalist’s avatar

    No problem. I’m always fairly riled up, as you know.

    As for painted naked Spiderman. Pretty ick, but at least it doesn’t have corporate backing. :)

  5. Lynsey May’s avatar

    I so don’t see the problem – surely that would be the ideal crime fighting costume? I mean really it seems that all the innovation in Marvel’s costume design must be in the fancy dress department and not with the, you know, comic artists. ;)

    I’ve been writing copy for a couple of fancy dress sites recently, the crazy lengths people will go to to ‘sexify’ women’s costumes never ceases to amaze me.

    Nice blog by the way

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