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Now, please keep in mind I do of course mix this up with different babydoll nightgowns, ratty sweaters, and sweatpants.  But yeah, it’s decidedly not awesome.

If we hadn’t gone out this weekend (twice!) I think Adam would have forgotten what I looked like in real clothes.  Speaking of this weekend, we saw two really good films this weeked at the New Directors/New Films series.  Treeless Mountain and Cold Souls. I don’t know if either will be getting a wide release, though the latter has enough star power that it seems like it should (Paul Giamatti), it also features in a small role some “new” actress (Katheryn Winnick) that I have to say I could not take my eyes off of.  To be “that guy” (or girl, as it were) she looked like a lovely version of Scarlett Johansson…only taller and a bit older.  Va va va voom.


Powers: Agility

Age: 28

Height: 5’8″

Weight: 153 lbs

Eye Color: Violet

Hair Color: Platinum Blonde

Astrological Sign: Sagittarius

Favorite Band/Artist: Prince

Favorite Song: Closer (NIN)

Favorite Movie: Pretty Woman

Favorite TV Show: Temptation Island

Favorite Color: Red

Loves: Men, women, lollipops, silk sheets, butterflies, flowers, hearts, angels, everything!

Hates: Underwear and mean people

Most Likely To: “BLOW you away”

Personal Quote: “Huh?”

Nemesis: “A man’s right hand”

Nicknames: The Body, Oly, Sure Thing, Lips, Blondie, Tits!

Significant Other: Too numerous to pin down

Accomplishments: US Chess Federation Champion, slept with George Clooney (he denies it)


So I’m watching an episode of Cold Case yesterday (okay, fine, three episodes) and I realize I really hate this show, yet cannot tear myself away. Damn you Cold Case, and damn you TNT for running them back to back so cleverly that I only have approximately six seconds to turn off the television before being drawn into a new crime.

Cold Case has all the train wreak-y elements that Law & Order has that makes it impossible to turn off: A violent crime in the first few minutes?  Check.  An interesting and immediate twist of events?  Check.  A red herring?  Check.  An attractive and “intelligent” cast set to solve the crime?  Check.  But there are some things that Law & Order has, or rather doesn’t have that allow me to hate myself slightly less in the morning after being drawn into an episode (or twelve).

Cold Case has these elements in spades, and I end up hating myself for watching it not only in the morning, but also WHILE I’m watching, which is just not good for anyone.  What are these things you may ask?  Don’t worry, I’ve laid them out for you below:

1. Cheesy Music.  The music is off the charts cheesy and obvious.  I know it’s often put there to mark a point in time – old hippie 60’s music?  Our cold case must take place in the 60’s!  But it’s WAY overused, and also so obvious as to cause multiple eye rolls per scene.  Here’s a hint – unless you’re playing it for comedy, you don’t have a music cue for say, “Brickhouse” when a hot chick enters a room.  Subtlety is not a word these people are familiar with.

2.  Heartstrings & Happy Endings. Law & Order sometimes has happy endings and/or eye-rollingly obvious attempts at cheese, but it’s not the standard.  You cannot find an episode of Cold Case without these things.  What should be a straight intelligent procedural instead becomes a “heartfelt drama” about reuniting people or whatever.  It’s annoying.  Be a procedural, or be a lifetime movie of the week.  Pick one.

3.  Personal Details about the Recurring CastLaw & Order (the flagship version) is really good about keeping the personal stuff for the detectives and lawyers basically non-existent, and it’s the reason it’s the best of all the L&O versions.  SVU is REALLY bad at it, and Criminal Intent is also bad at it, but it seems more forgivable if only because D’Onofrio is such a talent.  Regardless it’s a mistake.  SVU becomes all about Olivia’s personal feelings about rape or about Elliot’s feelings about child abuse.  Guess what – they don’t like them.  Whoo!  Surprise!  Are you surprised that detectives that have kids and a mother that was raped have really really personal feelings about these issues?  No, no you probably weren’t, because it is super obvious and talks down to the viewer.  Also, in the billions of episodes I’ve seen of SVU (yes, it feels like billions) I’ve never seen them effectively delve into the detectives’ actual feelings about these issues beyond the basic “this makes me really really mad!” concept.

Cold Case skates the line on this issue of adding personal details in the most annoying of ways.  They don’t come out and say anything obvious about these characters lives, but in the one of the episodes I watched yesterday (hopefully my last ever) they dropped at least six (SIX!) hints about blondie’s past experience dealing with addicts and her subsequent abandonment issues.  Hello!  We get it – her mother or father or whoever was an addict – she doesn’t trust addicts.  She has DRAMA about addicts.  Move the freak on and solve the god damn case.

So here’s what Cold Case does have going for them:  BOBBY CANNAVALE.  I would watch paint dry if there was even a hint of a suggestion of Bobby Cannavale making a brief apperance.  Especially if he’s going to be all rakishly handsome (as usual) and all funny and full of life but with a slightly shady past…which he is on Cold Case.

So there, now you really know why I watched three freaking old episodes of Cold Case on TNT last night.  Never again though, never again.  Let’s conveniently ignore the fact that Cannavale’s on a new show CUPID soon on ABC – which allows me to be a little more confident in my “never again” declarations in that I can get my Cannavale fix elsewhere.

SIDENOTE:  I’m officially adding Bobby Cannavale to my “list” (top 5)…which I’ll be laminating shortly.  Clive Owen, Bobby Cannavale, and man, I can just never decide between Brad Pitt and George Clooney…



Power:  Flight

Age:  17

Height:  5’2″

Weight:  117 lbs.

Eye Color:  Black

Hair Color:  Auburn

Astrological Sign:  Taurus

Favorite Band:  Justice

Favorite Song: D.A.N.C.E.

Favorite Movie:  The Shawshank Redemption

Favorite TV Show: The Venture Brothers

Favorite Color:  Green

Loves:  books, libraries, the internet, the environment, physics, chess, old movies…

Hates:  nuns, religion, and republicans

Most Likely To:  “Run the world from behind the scenes”

Nemesis:  Mary Elizabeth (a fellow schoolmate)

Nicknames:  Brainiac, “HEAD!”, Genius, Velma

Significant Other:  “No comment”

Accomplishments:  Newspaper Editor, Yearbook Editor, FBLA President, Student Body President, Physics Club, Math Club, Spanish Club, French Club, BBLOS Founder (Bring Back Latin To Our Schools)…too many to name.

As I develop the pages for JILTED LEAGUE, I thought I’d give you all a chance to get to know the girls one at a time…so here’s a little bio for your introduction to Val Chase aka The Bitch. 


Name:  Valerie (Val) Chase

Age: 27

Height:  6’0″

Weight:  “Fuck Off”

Eye Color:  Blue

Hair Color:  Black

Astrological Sign:  Cancer

Favorite Band:  Rage Against The Machine

Favorite Song:  How I Could Just Kill A Man (Rage Against The Machine)

Favorite Movie: 28 Days Later

Favorite TV Show:  Law & Order (original version)

Favorite Color:  Black, duh.

Loves:  Not much

Hates:  Almost everything

Voted Most Likely To:  “Kick your ass for no good reason”

Nemesis:  Vic The Virus, and pretty much anyone with a dick

Nicknames:  Badass, Killer, Bitch (obvs)

Significant Other:  None

Accomplishments:  “I haven’t killed anyone…yet.  Oh, and one awesome game of Men’s Varsity Football, my senior year.  Yes, I’m aware it was almost ten years ago…you wanna make something of it?”

So I promise I’m off working hard dear readers, it just takes time to put together something fantastically new (or in this case, ten years old but never fully tried…!).  Anyway, behold!  Some new teaser images for THE JILTED LEAGUE…coming soon to this blog…world domination next!



This is a major villain our heroes will face…The Supermodel.  The Supermodel’s sidekick is “Regular Model”…trust me, it’s hilarious.


In honor of the new BOND coming out this week, I thought I’d post a sketch I did for a future issue in which 007 calls in sick and Brain is tapped as his temporary replacement…her code name?  00Pi.


This one gives you an idea of the girls’ “special” relationship.


And this one I just like.  Maybe if you’re all very good I’ll do some COLOR images for next time.  I know, I know, COLOR…heaven forbid.  Stay tuned!  And a special shout out to Anna Paquin and Mila Kunis who have almost single handedly kept this blog in awesome daily hit numbers.  Thanks girls – I owe you one.

I’ve raved about JEFFREY BROWN on this site many times before as he is one of my all time favorite artist/writers…and I thought he was a great counterpoint this week for Artist of the Week to last week’s pick of JAMES JEAN. 

Brown and Jean really could not be more different, and yet their works are singularly powerful, emotional, and beautiful.  As a fan of clean lines and beautifully organized postive and negative spaces that artists such as JAMES JEAN and ADRIAN TOMINE and even ADAM HUGHES so excel at, I would never have thought years ago, before I discovered JEFFREY BROWN that I could fall in love with such a messy, sketchy, non-precise style.  But from the first pages of Brown’s UNLIKELY, I was absolutely in love.  I think the secret for me in what works in Brown’s style is the combination of story and art…the art on its own is easy to dismiss if you aren’t drawn to his style naturally, but combined with his poignant stories about love and loss and all the dimensions inbetween, it’s impossible not to appreciate the rawness of his style.  In simple black and white lines (and with not a ruler in sight) JEFFREY BROWN conveys more emotion in a single panel than most artist can manage in an entire book.  It’s a beautiful sight to behold, and I just never get sick of it. 

Discovering JEFFREY BROWN was one of those transformative moments for me as an artist, as a writer, as a reader, and even just as a person.  My whole world opened up to something I hadn’t even known existed.  It’s an amazing thing to just go to the comic book store one day and have an entire world open up to you in the pages of a simple book…it’s the kind of moment that doesn’t just come around every day and so when it does, you really must treasure it… 

Just when I thought there was no possible way to look at the economic crisis and laugh my ass off, I stumbled across this brilliant piece on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency by Jon Methven called “The Economic Crisis Hits The Markson Family Monopoly Board“.  Go there and read it now. 

While there you may want to check out this other fantastic gem by Colin Nissan “Diary Of A Woman Trapped Inside A Man’s Body Trapped Inside A Beaver’s Body” – hilarious.

Interestingly enough I must be a pretty big fan of Methven’s because I recognized the name and realized I’ve linked to his stories on McSweeney’s before…he’s got a style and sense of humor I just can’t get enough of.

Yes, thank YOU Anna Paquin.  I had my biggest blog day ever thanks to you! 

And by the way, I’d like to add, perhaps unnecessarily, that I commend Anna for showing her boobs.  I’m not into the gratuitous nudity for no purpose but I actually find avoiding nudity for no purpose equally as annoying.  These (boobs and other various body parts) are not precious perfect commodities to be sold to the highest bidders (Halle Berry, I’m speaking directly to you), they are just part of the human body, and if there’s a scene where it’s awkward and bizarre to hide them – you know – that scene where lovers suddenly cover up after the sex when it’s time to get a glass of water? – sure that’s how we all behave – personally, it completely takes me out of a scene when they throw in that awkward “cover up” moment because such and such actress doesn’t want to “give away the goods”. 

Now, unfortunately we do see a disproportionate amount of lady parts to man parts and that should change…but that’s a whole other conversation, this is just to say not only “thank you” to Anna, but also, “You go girl.  Your decision, as far as this viewer is concerned, was well-considered and appropriate for the show that you are currently on.” 

Also, as a side note – you looked gorgeous.

I love this one…maybe because it required very little drawing :)

I’m having severe writer’s block…actually that’s not true…that makes me sound like I’m trying.  I’m actually having severe ‘not even trying’.  I’m just down about the economy, worried about my job (and therefore my money), and it has become incredibly hard to concentrate.  I’m in that horrible whining pattern of wishing and hoping  – dreaming about sitting down to write all week – and then given two full days to do so – I roll about on the couch whining about how hard it is and what a failure I am.  I think I wrote about a thousand words all weekend…AND I didn’t do any cartoons…here’s what I did do, by percentage:

2% getting drunk on my new favorite vodka drink Saturday night

8% being drunk or slightly hungover

2% watching Sex And The City (it wasn’t near as bad as I feared)

18% sleeping

10% napping

2% actually writing

10% surfing the internet and reading blogs and other mostly pointless crap

2% cleaning the apartment

8% reading (Men Without Women by Ernest Hemingway – excellent!)

8% watching legitimate TV (i.e. things I recorded or was interested in)

5% watching pointless TV (i.e. things I should never bother watching – but watch out of frustration/avoidance)

2% eating (Hmmm – eating and writing – equal percentages – coincidence?  I think not!)

2% catching up on things I should have done during the week – emails, bills, etc.

21% rolling around on the couch whining and feeling sorry for myself.

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