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Here are the “rules“.
If you’d like to see the full Marvel July Cover Solicits head on over to CBR.
Well, Black Widow had a really rough month, but otherwise these were pretty great, as seems to be the new usual for Marvel. That said, technically more “offensive” covers this month than DC…so they’re going to need to keep an eye on that if they want to stay ahead.
ALL NEW X-MEN 15. This is fucking beautiful. I love how it’s stylized and graphic, but doesn’t look too stiff. The expressions and body language are great. Such attention to detail int eh costumes and everything. Immonen is a god of comics, man.
A+X 10. Phantomex and Black Widow by way of Kris Anka???? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!! This is gorgeous! Love the color choices here and the pop of red in Natasha’s hair. So good.
ASTONISHING X-MEN 64. It’s pretty hard to go wrong with Phil Noto and Mystique. The colors on this are great. I assume this is continuing the “Iceman” story, but I’m fine with Mystique being the star instead. 
AVENGERS 16. Preeeeety damn good.
AVENGERS 15. GRRRRR. Why the fuck is that necessary? Seriously, what on earth is the reason for that? Let’s try the dialogue for this scene:
Falcon: AHHHH! My Ears!!!
Captain America: AHHH!!! My Ears!!!
Black Widow: AHHHH! My Ears! So powerful that my zipper has broken open and my tits have sprung loose!!!! AHHHHH!
C’mon Mr. Yu. Really?
Here are the “rules“.
If you’d like to see the full DC June Cover Solicits head on over to CBR.
Again I have to say, Eisner noms…what were you thinking??? This is clearly THE PLACE for serious comics journalism.
There must be SOME kind of award I can win for blogging about covers while drunk. Surely that’s a THING, right?
It’s getting repetitive, but almost no missteps this month. Marvel is delivering fucking great covers, month after month. Good job, kids. WE HAVE CHANGED THE WORLD. OR SOMETHING. :0
AGE OF ULTRON #WHO THE FUCK CARES. This is a fine cover, nothing wrong with it, I’m just using the poor thing as an example of how much I DO NOT CARE ABOUT “AGE OF ULTRON”
ASTONISHING X-MEN 63. Wow. You go, Phil Noto. This is so fun. I love the way it both embraces the kind of typical “damsel fantasy cover” and also upgrades it to something a bit more interesting.
Not sure who the naked chick is…anyone?
AVENGERS ARENA 10. Great limited color. Wonderful graphic elements – the simplified trees and hand, all of it. Very cool. Don’t love the blurry/digital snow. 
AVENGERS ARENA 11. Fucking great illustration. I love it. Great connection with the reader/camera for Hazmat. Love that she’s still in her helmet. Great color palette. Honestly, everything about it is bang the fuck on.
Here are the “rules“.
If you’d like to see the full Marvel May Cover Solicits head on over to CBR.
Also, I’m actively taking suggestions in the comments for how to modify these “Drunk Solicits” going forward. Marvel has just upped their game so much that I feel the need to modify. I’ve thought about doing fewer and doing them individually…or doing them on tumblr…a few things. Lemme know if you’ve got a brilliant suggestion.
And congratulations to you, Marvel…you have officially ruined my fun! But as we all know I’d rather have smart, beautiful, non-offensive covers than a few cheap jokes once a month, so seriously…CONGRATULATIONS. You are making me proud, kid.
AGE OF ULTRON 7. You guys know I hate these no background backgrounds. Blarg. The illustration work is nice though. And I appreciate whats her names costume…actually…who the fuck is that…kinda looks like Janet…but not in any costume I’ve ever seen before…who knows? Sound off in the comments!
AGE OF ULTRON 8. This is a very clever perspective/reversal. I dig it. I’m not sure either of Susan’s arms quite work though…one seems to disappear and the other seems like it’s part “Mr. Fantastic arm.” Wolvie’s claws seem a bit off model too…still, I said I like it, and I do. Huge points for inventiveness.
ALL-NEW X-MEN 11. Hmm. The floating heads aren’t so bad when in a circle. They bother me much less. That said, I gotta admit, I am not down with Emma’s new costume. The problem is, that the Quitely costume from New X-Men was so much more innovative with its “X OF FLESH” so while I have no objection to Emma sporting skin, this seems much less creative, although it’s a fun/weird change to see her in black. I’m also kind of lukewarm on Illyana’s costume. I like the hotpants and thigh high boots (except they’re the same as Emma’s which doesn’t seem like something Emma would stand for) and the boob window and bare midriff both together seem weirdly excessive. Wow. I had a surprising amount to say about this cover. Also, it’s very pretty. Gorgeous illustration work, and the color contrasts and positive/negative space is pretty damn cool.
Here are the “rules“.
If you’d like to see the full Marvel April Cover Solicits head on over to CBR.
Honestly, yet again these are more good than bad, and thus, not particularly funny…but I’ll try my best.
AGE OF ULTRON 5. Nice Alan Davis – and when I say Davis I of course mean BRYAN HITCH – team cover. I love that there are four ladies on this cover and none of them are wearing anything ridiculous.
Also, MONICA RAMBEAU!!!!!!
AGE OF ULTRON 6 VARIANT. Yeah, that’s original, Wolvie tearing through something.
Just kidding, I was being mean (it’s the drink, I swear!) this is actually great – execution is really good.
ALPHA. Nice composition and color choices on this one. I certainly prefer it to “crazy eyes” and “broken back” of last month.
Here are the “rules“.
If you’d like to see the full Marvel March Cover Solicits head on over to CBR.
Yet again, Marvel is making this feature pretty fucking hard. Way more covers to love than loathe. I tried my best but they’re honestly just turning out some awesome stuff these days. Enjoy!
AVENGERS ACADEMY 6. Still enjoying these covers. Very fun, great sense of humor and full of personality.
ALPHA 2. Um. Let’s for a moment ignore the MC (Alpha?)’s facial expression…which is PURE INSANITY…and discuss the fact that the woman he’s carrying has clearly broken her fucking back. #NoThanksHero
A+X 6. This seems like a fun team up and the illustration isn’t bad, but Carol looks FUCKING TERRIFIED. That um…doesn’t seem right.
I reviewed a few extra books for CBR this week, so have a relatively massive five reviews…let’s start at the top!
“”Young Avengers” #1 is one of those books. A book where you’re aware while reading it that you are experiencing something truly special. Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie have delivered an incredibly satisfying, innovative and touching first issue that will leave readers absolutely pumped for this debut series…continue reading at CBR
“”Batwoman” #16 is a stunningly beautiful book. A revelation almost in its visual perfection, but it just tries to do too much. Too many voices, too many stories, too many perspectives and too many words for too few pages, the issue collapses under its own ambition and stands as a good book instead of brilliant…continue reading at CBR
“On the whole, Jason Aaron and David López’s “Wolverine & The X-Men” 24 is a fun
and attractive book, but like many quiet and more soap-opera like superhero books it lacks some gravitas until the end. Quiet relationship books are some of my favorite kinds — those small stories that develop character and show “insignificant” moments that happen between the big battles — and in that way, “Wolverine & The X-Men” #24 should be right up my alley…continue reading at CBR
When you see six people listed as the art team for a single comic, your heart sinks. “Gambit” #8 could have been worse, considering there were so many hands involved (five people on pencils and inks alone), but it’s still just not a great looking book. The more you look, the more flaws you find. Unfortunately, James Asmus’s interesting plot and adequate writing aren’t enough to save it…continue reading at CBR
“I desperately want to be reading and loving a book starring Selina Kyle, and I was hopeful that the new creative team would give me that opportunity, but four issues into this creative pairing, “Catwoman” still doesn’t work. While there are things I like about the new direction, the negatives unfortunately far outweigh the positives…read the full review at CBR
An all-new She Has No Head! is up, kids. And I really like this one, so check it out.
I get to rave about the idea of Brian Wood’s upcoming X-Men title while bitching about everything that was wrong with Marvel Divas. Oh, Marvel, how far you’ve come! I feel like a proud parent! 
Kris Anka’s take on Brian Wood’s new X-Men!
I got to review some damn good comics this past week for CBR, check them out! It’s also worth nothing that while you all know I’m a huge sucker for a great cover, I really dislike the cover to Avengers Assemble #11 (not my cuppa, at all!) and yet a great and GORGEOUS book lurks inside. A good reminder to us all that covers don’t always give the best impression!
“Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo’s “Death of the Family” has gone a long way toward establishing Snyder as a believer in the idea that the very existence of Batman creates and inspires some of his greatest (and most insane) enemies. It’s not a new idea, but it’s one Snyder explores in a more impactful way then I’ve seen from other writers. It’s honestly hard not to get caught up in it, which is a mark of fantastic storytelling…” continue reading at CBR
“Kelly Sue DeConnick is joined by artist Filipe Andrade for an incredibly enjoyable and gorgeous issue of “Captain Marvel.” If this issue is any indication Marvel may have found the exact “dream team” this book has needed all along…” continue reading at CBR
“I’m not traditionally a big Avengers team book reader, but Kelly Sue DeConnick and Stefano Caselli have hooked me with their super fun, gorgeous “Avengers Assemble” run. In “Avengers Assemble” #11, DeConnick closes an arc that flawlessly mixes superheroics and humor with the same tongue-in-cheek self-awareness of “The Avengers” film — not a bad strategy at all…” continue reading at CBR
That’s it for this (last) week – up THIS week – YOUNG AVENGERS!!! – so excited!
As I said last week I’m going to try to get back to doing a better job of cross-posting my content across the web here, so here are the reviews I did for CBR this week, enjoy!
ALL-NEW X-MEN #5
“Against all odds, in large part due to the A-list creative team of Brian Michael Bendis and Stuart Immonen, the very weird idea at the center of the “All-New X-Men” series is working like gangbusters five issues in. This issue, as the cover suggests, spends a lot of time with young Jean Grey as she deals with her future death(s). It’s handled quite well — and erases all of my concerns in issue #2 that the series would gloss over these kind of complications….”
Click here to read the full review.
PUNK ROCK JESUS #6
“Sean Murphy’s “Punk Rock Jesus” has been an incredible ride and it certainly doesn’t stop with this final issue. A clever idea that could have easily gone awry, Murphy’s story of a clone of Jesus Christ raised in the public eye was constantly unpredictable, almost always in a good way….”
Click here to read the full review.
DELPHINE (COLLECTED HARDCOVER)
“Richard Sala’s beautifully illustrated “Delphine,” an extremely loose reinterpretation of “Snow White” told from the perspective of the unnamed (and more modern) “Prince Charming,” is delightfully dark and mysterious. One part comic book and one part fever dream, there’s a lot to like in this hardback collected edition from Fantagraphics….”
Click here to read the full review.
Here are the “rules“.
If you’d like to see the full Marvel February Cover Solicits head on over to CBR.
Honestly, yet again these are more good than bad, and thus, not particularly funny…but I’ll try my best.
AVENGERS ARENA 4 RUBIO VARIANT. Well now, this is a good damn start. What a great and unexpected cover! Full of energy and emotion, plus great composition, and a cool desaturated color palette. I’m all over this.
AVENGERS ARENA 4. And this is awesome too. I love the style and the word choices. It’s perfectly pitched for what it is. Very smart.
AVENGERS 5. This is less smart and interesting to me than the other two, but it’s still a great illustration and nice colors and composition.
ALL-NEW X-MEN 7. Honestly? This is just damn good illustration work. the expressions, the anatomy, the movement, and even the composition and framing are just A plus.
