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So I didn’t do an epic best of list for 2008…whether it’s because I was too busy, or because I was wiped out from being sick for a month, or just because in general I was less impressed with what I saw, read, and listened to I’m not sure.  But in looking at the films from this year, I thought there were enough good ones (a lot of solid 4 stars – very few 5 stars) that I should at least make my lazy self do a best films of 2008.

Please keep in mind that this list is missing some pretty significant films as I was not great about getting to the theater this year.  Likely contenders for best films that are notably missing because of I’ve yet to see them are Synechdoche New York, The Reader, Elegy, W, Taxi To The Dark Side, Religulous, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Tell No One, Che, Wendy & Lucy, American Teen, Blindness (which I was dying to see but still managed to miss) and The Wrestler.  Any of these films had the potential to drastically change the list below, had I been more on the ball with my filmgoing…

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10. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button 4 stars

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9. Milk 4 stars

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8. Revolutionary Road 4 stars

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7.  Frozen River 4 stars

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6.  Snow Angels 4 stars

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5.  Vicky Cristina Barcelona 4 stars

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4.  Forgetting Sarah Marshall 4.5 stars

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3.  Ballast 4.5 stars

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2.  The Dark Knight 4.5 stars

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1.  Reprise 5 stars

Runner’s Up:  Wall-E and Iron Man

I have to say, reviewing this list, it was a very depressing year overall.  Of the ten films on my list I would say at least seven or eight are significantly depressing.  Maybe I just had a depressing year and so everything seems more depressing to me?  Could be.

The Nice Surprises of 2008? Let The Right One In, Rachel Getting Married, and Redbelt (though I’ve got some serious problems with it, the end largely redeemed it).

Biggest Disappointment of 2008The Changeling.  I enjoy Jolie and thought it was going to be great…it was decidedly not great, though I don’t blame Jolie for it.  Runners up for biggest disappointments go to:  My Blueberry Nights, Burn After Reading, Married Life, The Last Mistress, and Brideshead Revisted all of which I had high hopes for…hopes that were dashed horribly against sharp rocks.

The Middling Mediocre Middle Ground of 2008Hancock (eh), Semi-Pro (barely eh), Step Brothers (eh when it should have been hilarious), Cloverfield (eh), Wanted (eh, Jolie saved it from being an utterly unwatchable special effects commercial), and Hellboy 2 (eh, too many effects, not enough of everything else).

Worst Film of 2008?  The worst film I saw in 2008 was The Other Boleyn Girl, if only because the book (not even the kind of book I generally read) is freaking fantastic, and how you can screw that up so badly is beyond me.   The worst mainstream film made in 2008 had to be a three way tie between Gran Torino and Nights in Rodanthe.  I didn’t see either film, but seeing the previews alone was enough to make me want to slit my wrists and gouge out my eyes.  In the case of this tie I’d have to award the final prize to Gran Torino…how can Clint Eastwood sometimes be so right on and awesome and sometimes be so off the mark and hideously awful?  It defies explanation…

Worst Film of 2008 that I refused to see in the theater and hid out watching in my apartment and am embarrased to say I paid for:  Another tie folks…Sex and the City and 27 Dresses.  Where Katherine Heigl gets off talking shit about Knocked Up for being “anti-female” or whatever and then doing this dreck and thinking it’s somehow “female positive” I have no idea.  As for Sex and the City, it was better than I expected it to be in that the preview looked like one giant commercial, however, I cannot respect this film as I don’t understand how a film can actually have a character while ‘down on her luck’ talking about Cinderella to a child and trying to explain how things don’t always work out that way – happy ending-ish and all – trying to explain that it’s fiction…just a story, and then have that character do a 180 in the next 40 minutes and LITERALLY have a Cinderella style moment in which she is proposed to and a slipper is placed on her foot…SERIOUSLY!?!  WTF?!?!  If they were doing it tongue in cheek…or as a joke…or something I could maybe forgive it, but I just don’t believe they were.  The rest of the film wasn’t smart enough for that part to be a joke.  So, bad on you SATC.  bad.

That’s right – we’re baaaaack!!!!!  I know you didn’t believe me that we’d be back…but we are.  Let’s hope for no more hiccups, at least until I reach the end of “a year of rabid lamb comic” (i.e. November 5th).

And to you movie texters out there – it would be great if you could stop texting because it’s wrong and it ruins peoples’ movie experience – but if the moral fortitude to do the right thing escapes you – just know that some crazy bitch and her giant angry boyfriend may be in your theater, ready to follow you home and kill you for being an insensitive jackass.  Is texting really worth your life?  Turn off the goddamn phone – I assure you your life is not so important that it can’t be put on hold for two hours…and if it is…then what the hell are you doing in a movie theater anyway?

This is apparently my new favorite thing to rant about…see?

I am (vaguely) interested in this movie.

And then I discovered that this “film critic” gave it a “rave review” and his “soundbite” is even featured in the trailer I saw.

I hate this man (see evidence of this). What to do, what to do?

Quite the totally pointless conundrum…

Also, it’s good to know I’m not the only one that hates him. The internet is filled with apparent non-sheep with actual functioning brains that dislike him at least as much as I do. Especially this guy (who I couldn’t agree with more). Also these people don’t like him (check out the comments there for extra and warranted hate), or these, or these (again, the comments tell the real story)…I’ll stop linking now, I think you get the picture…

“Film EXPERTS(?!!?) Ben Lyons (L) and Ben Mankiewicz (R) are shown in this combination photo of publicity images released to Reuters July 22, 2008. The Walt Disney Company named the two men on Tuesday the new hosts to replace Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper on the popular movie-review show “At the Movies,” in the wake of the influential critics’ departure from the program.” (Emphasis is all mine).

Disney does it again.

At The Movies (also known as Siskel & Ebert and then Ebert & Roeper, and then most recently Roeper and “rotating co-host”) has been killed and resurrected as a horrible disfigured incompetent frankenstein version of its previous self. The rotating co-host of At The Movies had recently “unofficially” become Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune, ironically my least favorite of the rotating co-hosts (I would have loved to see A.O Scott of The New York Times or Robert Wilonsky who was also good). Phillips and Roeper however were SO MUCH better than the “NEW” At The Movies, I cannot accurately articulate it in words…in my lifetime. Ever.

Let’s start at the very beginning which is to say that I don’t listen wholeheartedly to movie reviewers, I don’t go, “Oh – so and so likes it – let’s go!” but what I do like to do is read/listen to a few different reviewers that I don’t find to be totally off base (Roeper included) and judging on the kinds of things they say, help me decide which movies to see since I don’t have the time (or the money) to see them all. This has been a pretty good system for me, as it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie that I hated and wished I hadn’t spent my money on. Goal achieved! So Adam and I have tivo’d At The Movies and used to enjoy catching it on weekends.

I read online sometime in June or July 2008 that At The Movies was getting canceled. I was disappointed, but I had already had to absorb the new “see it”, “skip it”, or “rent it” nonsense rating system instead of the thumbs up/thumbs down rating system. This was apparently due to the fact that the latter is owned by Ebert and as contract negotiations dragged on I guess Disney decided it was best to just move on and try to force their new inane rating system (devised by an intern over the summer perhaps?) down our throats while we still had a familiar face (Roeper) delivering them. So since May 2008 the show has been a little less than it should have been. But now I know that the truly horrible changes were still to come.

The new formatting totally sucks. The set, graphics, and entire production is cheap and terrible looking. A far cry from the “theater seating” look that was so appropriate (and pretty good looking) of the old show. The new show has the two “hosts” standing at a counter (one behind it, and one in front of it) and it is a totally uncomfortable way to watch them talk about something. You feel like there is no way they can actually have a serious debate or even a conversation about any issue because they are standing there together, facing the camera and not each other at all. It also feels like they could just dart off stage at any moment. At the end of the show they did sit in chairs (on the still horrible set with the still horrible graphics) but the chairs were so close that they were touching, and it remained completely uncomfortable to watch.

The show does have a somewhat interesting new segment that brings in a “critic roundup” where they have three guest critics (all very young) that comment on one of the movies they are reviewing. Unfortunately however this did not work either because the critics were given far too little time to articulate any point of view other than “yes” or “no”. It didn’t help that on the segment I saw, the critic from IFC (Independent Film Channel), Matt Singer was quite knowledgeable and so made Ben Lyons the new idiot co-host of the show seem even more incompetent than he obviously is.

Onto the meat, the new “hosts” (I use that term very loosely). Actually, Ben Mankiewicz was pretty good. He seemed knowledgeable and well spoken and more importantly he seemed interested in actually discussing the films, rather than just looking pretty for the camera and getting his sound bites in. Which brings us to the idiocy that is Ben Lyons. This dude is absolutely ridiculous. I cannot believe the producers of this show think that throwing a pretty face at viewers will help us ignore the fact that the guy is a complete moron that doesn’t seem to even know anything about film (he hails mostly from the E! channel). It’s not that I disagree with his point of view on films…it’s more that he doesn’t seem to have one.

Also, let’s talk about the fact that Ben Lyons, who is obviously the worst kind of star whore (see his blog, which is essentially pictures of him with famous people), with his E! Entertainment credentials is actually a conflict of interest reviewer. It’s like having Karl Rove come in as an “independent commentator” on Fox News to talk about Obama’s or McCain’s speeches. Rove is CLEARLY not an objective observer, he has an obvious stake in the Republicans winning the election, just as Lyons has a stake in certain movies doing well, and/or maintaining relationships with actors, directors, producers, writers, etc., in order to keep getting his interviews and oh so important photo ops. This is a total conflict of interest.

And as if to really solidify my viewpoint that this show is a pandering ridiculous revamp that is now intending to not actually review films, but to create even more PR and spin for the Hollywood machine, Lyon’s choice for ‘Three to See‘ (a fairly new feature where they pick the three best films currently in theaters) was not even a FILM! Yes, you read that correctly. Mankiewicz picked Hamlet 2 and Towelhead as his picks and Lyons said that people should watch the trailers for Twilight. A TRAILER? Wait, let me rephrase that…A FUCKING TRAILER? A trailer for a giant Hollywood machine of a movie coming out in November 2008? That is your current movie pick? You fucking idiot. Don’t EVER show up on my TV ever again.

Jerk.

So thanks Dave.  Thanks a lot. 

I hope you all have great weekends ahead of you.  As my writing deadline fast approaches (11 days!) I will be buckling down, I hope like never before, to write write write.  I plan to take a break Sunday and go to a movie and dinner with Adam after my writing group. 

I’m currently trying to talk myself out of going to a special midnight screening of a new 35 mm print of The Crow that is screening at the Sunshine theater Friday and Saturday nights…sounds like some good relaxing fun (I freaking love that movie and would love to see a new print) but I just think it will throw me off and the next thing you know I’ll be having fun left and right…

Ew is right.  I confess until now, I have never seen a concessions stand at a theater closed for failing an inspection and I find it kind of horrifiying.   Although the movie theater I went to see Vicky Cristina Barcelona at on Tuesday seemed like it should have been not only closed but condemned – the whole theater – not just the concessions stands.  Yucky.  I’ll be avoiding that theater in the future whenever possible.

Yeah, this one seemed like it was going to be an epic battle, but it blew over pretty quickly.  Maybe both of our memories are getting so bad that it’s harder to hang onto that internal rage.  Adam says I like being mad.  I say, nobody likes being mad, but it does take me longer to cool off than the average bear. 

Guess what I’m unable to cool off about this morning?  The fact that I went to a late showing of Vicky Cristina Barcelona last night with Adam and three bitches (THREE!) were texting at various times throughout the movie (which was a good movie – more on that later).  And since it was a late show on a Tuesday night there were only like 30 people even in the huge theater.  What the F!?!  If your life is so exciting that you cannot put down the blackberry or phone for 96 minutes then don’t buy an f’ing ticket.  I am so sick of this. Does anyone live somewhere where this kind of thing doesn’t happen?  If so, please let me know and I’ll pack my bags now.  I’m so fed up with disrespectful people.  I just don’t get it.

I promise you there is a punchline in your future (specifically your future of tomorrow).

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was surprisingly productive/enjoyable as in I got some writing done, submitted a new piece to a new journal I haven’t tried before, did some critiques for group on Sunday, actually attended group on Sunday, did five comics (shocking! this hasn’t happened in months – maybe I’m getting back on track!) and spent a nice day with Adam eating sandwiches in a park-like setting and seeing two movies (Frozen River and Brideshead Revisited – more on both of those later) as well as had a nice little sushi dinner with him on Sunday.

All in all, if I’d managed to get in more exercise it would have been a pretty healthy and balanced weekend. Still too much time sitting on my ass though…I need new hobbies…reading, writing, and drawing/art/comics are just making me fatter and fatter and fatter…bastards.

Guess what I still didn’t manage to do though…amongst all that other good work and “success” – I still managed to not write ONE SINGLE WORD for my novel rewrite.

Go me! I am the king of procrastination!

Yes, this would be Flawless (see previous “review”). 

Man, what the hell was Demi Moore thinking with that accent?  Just terrible.  The thing I really can’t figure about this movie is how anyone –  producers, writers, directors, even actors, thought this was actually going to be an intriguing mystery.  It’s a period piece heist movie…and let’s just face it, a heist movie these days is only as good as its obstacles…of which there weren’t that many in 1960’s London.  I mean if it had been brilliantly done it could have been really interesting as a historical look at how early heist pioneers paved the way for modern day heisters (word? I think not), but since it is poorly done, it’s more like watching paint dry than watching a heist movie. 

I should also go on record here as saying that I’m not a super fan of the escalating measures we have to take our heist movies to (i.e. I thought Ocean’s Eleven was a decent film, almost despite the ridiculous hoops our criminals/heroes have to jump through; but I find most heist movies today annoying with absolutely ridiculous hoops that have a suspension of belief not unlike seeing Clark Kent in glasses and not knowing that he’s Superman…which I’ve always found annoying).  So I support what this film was TRYING to do, but it just failed miserably.  Too bad.

Yep, you’re pretty much looking at what I did for six days.

I somehow managed to watch several movies, between the LONG plane trips and a day stuck in due to either a sun or chlorine allergy and I’ve done a “witty” one/two sentence summary of each below for your edification (I love the word edification…isn’t it great?)…anyway here they are:

Step Brothers: Funnier than Semi-Pro, less funny than some of the other Will Ferrel vehicles, it’s a bit lacking in plot, like all of ‘those movies’, but with some choice lines you’ll find yourself repeating probably for the rest of your life. A solid 3 Stars.

The Namesake: A beautiful and poignant film, with an ending that slightly let me down, and previews that kind of led me astray, and ultimately made me want to read the book, which I bet is at least ten times better. A good 3.5 stars.

Married Life: A lovely looking period piece about relationships, friendships, and marriage, with excellent performances by everyone except the bootleg Parker Posey (Rachael McAdams for the uninitiated), with the especially brilliant Patricia Clarkson driving the heart of the film, as always. 3.5 Stars.

Sidenote: McAdams wasn’t TERRIBLE, I’m just a little biased and she’s not good here, just acceptable.

Flawless: A hideous film that I never would have finished had I not been belted in at thirty thousand feet and coked up on too much caffeine to fall alseep easily, Demi Moore’s accent is atrocious, and while Michael Cane is pretty solid, as always, the plot and writing are dry and horrible, and the ending is atrocious. I don’t know why anyone would have thought this film could/should be made. 1 Star.

Blue State: An equally hideous little film, that I was tricked into watching by the beguiling Anna Paquin. Breckin Meyer is the lead, who I feel lukewarm about in general, but hated with a firey passion here where he is devoid of chemistry with Paquin (how can you be devoid of chemistry with Anna Paquin?! Even I would have chemistry with Paquin for christ’s sake!) and he is not aided at all by the horrible plot, script, and direction. Yay. 1 Star.

While not technically viewed on my trip, I watched my Netflix rental of Green Street Hooligans upon my return to New York. It was pretty good, and by that I mean that it was sometimes awful and sometimes pretty great in alternating turns. I did expect more from it and found it hard to become to emotionally attached to what was going on considering that the main characters were basically in gangs (called ‘firms’) based on local football (US=Soccer) alliances. Silly. I know it’s true and accurate that many people feel so passionate about sports, and particularly in Europe it has become a problem with violence and alcohol, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about the film The Wind That Shakes The Barley that I watched late last year, and which was so painfully about REAL war, war that can’t be avoided…I don’t know, it just seemed ridiculous to care to much that these kids (and adults) were so stupid to be killing over something so silly as sports loyalties. That said, how is Charlie Hunnam not a HUGE star by now? Gorgeous and very talented. Even standing next to the pretty much always solid Elijah Wood he was a powerhouse in the acting category. I was totally in love, with him, if nothing else. And based largely on that love, I’m giving it 3 Stars.

I also read two excellent books that I’ll be posting hopefully later this week…in case you’re looking for an excellent book :)

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