http://www.medgadget.com/archives/2007/08/cupup_to_uplift_breasts.html

apparently there is some new surgical option for women who can have a permanent “bra” surgically implanted into their bodies (see the link above for the full story). 

i’m sure there are plenty of good reasons why logical women would want support without a bra, i know i often fantasize about skipping bra-less through open fields (and in these fantasies my breasts are not only fully supported and comfortable but they look awesome) however, i can’t help but think that this is mostly more misogynistic bullshit of men torturing us with their idea of what the fuck we should look like with more painful expensive and oh so creative surgeries. 

who in their right mind actually thinks this is a good idea?

ironically this makes me think of a bit in Consider The Lobster, by David Foster Wallace (which i have still not finished).  the first essay in the Consider The Lobster collection is a brilliant engaging piece about the porn industry (no sarcasm – it really is brilliant).  at one point in the essay, published originally in the early 1990’s i believe, Wallace is talking to a wannabe starlet that is hoping to get her big break in porn soon, and she is showing off her new breast implants, which are literally inflatable, meaning she can change their size by small valves under her arms.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  i mean why don’t you just lay yourself on a lab table and ask to be turned into a full on sexbot?

…what a leap into the future! 

unfortunately i think this is all too similar to things like the permanent make-up craze, and all the nuttiness that goes with that, i have to admit that i too briefly fantasized about a permanent toenail pedicure/paint job because i just really really hate painting my toenails, but in about two seconds of thinking about this a logical person can see that it is just not a good idea.  jesus. 

the only reason for any kind of hope when i was reading Wallace’s piece was that i realized that the article was written in the early/mid 1990’s and i had never heard of such a ridiculous thing as inflatable fake breasts in the years since, therefore we women must be smarter than we’re usually given credit for, because we saw what a sham this idea was and moved on from the ridiculousness that is flexi-adjustable-inflatable-fake breasts, but then i saw this article:

 http://www.medgadget.com/archives/2007/04/in_progressadjustable_breast_augmentation_circumvents_implant_remorse.html

curses.  foiled again.

let me be honest here.  i have large breasts.  i also wear a push up bra every single day and i am inclined towards low cut clothing to show off what i’ve got going on.  perhaps because of this fact i have never been “anti-breast implants” because who the hell am i to tell a small breasted woman that she shouldn’t get to have what i already have (that said where is the fucking surgery that gives me the tiny little wrists and feet i’ve always wanted?!).  anyway, i guess my point is only to say that i understand the desire and the myriad of different reasons that many women use to justify cosmetic surgery in their lives and i am the last to judge.  but i think we’ve also got to wake up here.  some of this is just ridiculous, and not good for us, and put upon us by an innane society, and idiot men, and even each other, as we tend to be the harshest critics of the female figure, and we are just setting ourselves back…so far back. 

let’s wake up here ladies.