i had the unfortunate experience of catching the Entourage season finale on repeat last night.  blech.  it was just a terrible 34 minutes of television.  this show is so in love with itself (for no real reason) that it has become a cesspool of self congratulation and narcissism.  the characters, if they ever even were fully developed characters (which i’m not sure about) have turned into full-on characatures of themselves.  Kevin Dillon, who on average i used to enjoy more than the others, literally shouted (in traditional borderline hoarse Drama voice) every single one of his lines, whether he was arguing with French hotel staff or just talking.  it was terrible.

here’s the crux of the problem to my mind.  Entourage used to be a good and funny show.  it was smart and witty and often funny and always a bit slick for its own good, but that was okay, because it was also GOOD.  now it is just super slick and there isn’t anything GOOD in sight.  but i guess everyone will keep watching it because it is a fantasy show and everyone wants their life to be that good and easy, also because we as tv viewers don’t usually demand quality programming, i mean as lame as Entourage is these days it’s still better than most network sitcoms, which is just sad.  i feel like HBO viewers do demand quality though, so i don’t know why this show is sliding by without someone calling bullshit on it.   

Entourage was good when it was funny early on and the few times that you learned something about the characters and relationships, such as when their old jailbird friend got out and came to visit for about half a season and it completely changed the dynamic of the show and actually created some controversy – still easily solved at the end of the half hour, but there was an actual story arc, i swear!

[spoilers]

anyway, let’s get specific, things i hated in this episode were:

1.  anything having to do with Drama and the fact that he shouted and over-emphasized every single line he was given.

2. the “take turtle downstairs and give him your best blowjob ever” bit, are you kidding me?  gimme a break.

3.  the fact that after the best scene in the whole episode (the negotiation with studio head Dana) Ari gets a phone call that undoes the whole deal and then instead of dealing with anything we cut directly from them toasting the deal to the red carpet at Cannes.  are you kidding me?  we resolved nothing here?

4.  the ridiculousness of Drama having sex on the beach with his “true love” while maybe a hundred plus people look on, apparently unbeknownst to either Drama or his girl.  c’mon.  who is writing this crap and expecting us to believe it?

5. uh, everything that wasn’t the negotiation scene.

also, since i have given HBO props recently for keeping Big Love on the air (a show that is controversial and female centered despite its subject matter) i have to give them shit for having this show on the air, which basically denies the existence of any woman that is not super hot, and even the super hot ones aren’t good enough to garner more than two or three episodes, because in Entourage women are an afterthought, usually one involving some kind of denigration.  i know they’re trying to do an “accurate” portrayal of hollywood here, and hollywood puts a very high value on looks, but i lived in LA from 2000 – 2005 and i saw plenty of successful and in the know people that were not models.  so while this stereotype is partially true, it is not law and it would be nice of them to break free of it a bit.  but i’m talking to air, because nobody cares. 

you know what?  the only good character on this show is Lloyd.  the only way i would continue watching this show next season is if it was totally revamped and renamed Lloyd. 

ZERO STARS.  BOOOOOOOO.

this is Lloyd.  go Lloyd.