Ack. I think we, and by we I mean the insanely talented but tortured writers out there (joke), all feel this way about the query letter process. I don’t know about many other actual personal experiences outside of my own (except what I read about on my best friend ‘the interwebs’) but for me I can’t decide if I’ve been blessed or cursed.
I had the advantage/disadvantage of having my very first agent query letter (to the agent I researched and really really thought I wanted) come back within a week with an email request for a partial (the first 50 pages). JOY! This partial was rejected by email about 2 months later with some helpful (and some less than helpful) notes. Less than joy.
I have sent two queries since – one has been out there for almost three months with no response and the other for three weeks with no response. I completely recognize that this is not exactly a “wide net” to cast. I also recognize that I already have great statistics considering what I’ve actually put out there and the response I’ve gotten. It it still a completely frustrating and self destructive process. Also, I felt good initially that though my first agent didn’t want me or my book he apparently thought I had a good query letter. Good right? A good query letter is almost as good as a good novel…yet no response to my new queries, which though tailored to the specific agents, were largely the same as the first. *SIGH* Apparently my query letter was not made of magic.
I often wish I could be one of those writers that is totally convinced they are brilliant – and that their novel is the best novel ever written. Although agents, and agent assistants, and really everyone, hates those kind of people and nine times out of ten (okay ten times out of ten) they’re delusional anyway, it still must be nice to just feel so confident in your work. I have doubts about my work every moment…actually that’s a lie, I vacillate wildly (especially when I’m actually writing) between “I AM A GOLDEN GOD! I AM A GENIUS!” to ten minutes later “I AM THE WORST OF HACKS. I AM THE HACKIEST HACKY HACK HACK THAT EVER DARED SIT AT A COMPUTER”. These two thoughts can be about the exact same sentence, plot, arc, character, or even title, merely ten minutes apart.
I think I’m also pretty realistic about the state of ‘the process’ and the state of publishing in general. The reality is that you CAN actually have written a great book and that STILL does not mean you are ever getting published…so what hope is there for those of us that maybe have a great book idea that is maybe well written or is maybe timely…it’s pretty debilitating.
I am making a concerted effort this weekend though, no excuses and “sad pile of low self-esteem and mania” be damned, to cast a wide net of query letters. Look out world…a mediocre bi-polar mess is comin’ out…
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Maybe that should be your by-line; “Look out world…a mediocre bi-polar mess is comin’ out…” Or “bi-line” would be better.
And at least you have 50 pages. I sent a few to Paul and, well, let’s say you being the “hackiest hacky hack hack” must make me something far worse. Needless to say the wanna-be writer inside me has just about shriveled up like a slug trying to cross the Utah salt flats. I’m much better at ideas than execution.
So, let me be the sad pile of low self-esteem and you work on your agent search. Then when you’re famous, you can send me a free copy. Signed of course.
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TK42ONE: Hmmm. I have several thoughts about your pages. First off Paul is an established writer and so sending something to him is a good thing to do and I am sorry if the response was not what you desired. I’m sure all of Paul’s comments/critiques were valid.
That said, if it is really something you want to do you of course cannot let one person’s opinion stop you. And you have to keep in mind that one person’s opinion is just that, and that the next person’s opinion, tastes, likes and dislikes etc., can be, and usually are, wildly different.
That is a particularly difficult thing to remember when going through the query/submission process, which is why writer critique can be so valuable both in editing the work so that it can become better and less full of holes that agents etc. will pounce on and also in building up a thick skin. If you throw out your work at the first rejection you have no hope of getting an agent/ getting published…because the process is long and drawn out and horrifying with many torturous little steps.
Last bit of totally unsolicited advice (sorry!) – if you really believe in your project and idea, there is nothing wrong with sending a few pages to a talented friend to see what they think, but I would suggest finishing it before doing too much with it in the outside world and here’s why, as many many many people have learned, myself most of all, there is a HUGE difference between starting a book and finishing a book. Finishing a book can be almost impossible, writing a couple great chapters can be a breeze. But in the end, only a finished work is really worth anything. Also, you’d be surprised how much you end up editing and refining those first chapters, or first pages, whatever, when you sit for however long it takes you to complete a work. I feel like completing a work is almost the first great big revision.
Anyway, food for thought, I don’t want either of us being a “sad pile of low self esteem”. And when I’m agented and published…signed copies for everyone! Wait…I will have to sell at least a few books…hmmm…
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Count yourself lucky that the first person you queried requested a partial sample that quickly and actually took the time to give you notes. Even though it eventually ended in rejection, that is probably more time than you would get from most, as you are beginning to see.
-J. Cynical
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Don’t get me wrong, Paul’s advice was all valid. Very valid. And what I enjoyed was that he pointed out things that VanderMeer missed, so I know I can rely on him. And yeah, everyone that reads it says something different. But being a very introverted person (hard to believe with all my blog chatter), I’ve only let 3 people read the cursed work.
And I haven’t given up on writing, just put it way, way back on my list of goals for this year. I tend to have a very short attention span so I’m good at starting, but not finishing. That’s key for me, finishing. I think my next work will be more of a short story just to get something finished. I think I started with a ridiculously impossible goal with 100,000 words. Well, I got 25,000, but only half of that is even close to quality. So I think I’ll step back and work on my other idea in shorter form. My novel will have to wait.
And I’ll buy a copy if you send a free one, just to help even things out. Deal?
Oh, and thanks for the little pep-talk. I was being more sarcastic than depressed, but a little pick-me-up never hurts.
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TK42ONE: Deal.
Josh: Thanks a lot “J. Cynical” – was my post not cynical enough? Additional reality check (already observed) noted.
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Aw, y’all are talking about me! ::blushes::
Kelly, though I haven’t gotten to the point of querying agents yet (the Novel still needs to be, er, finished first!), it is the process of “continuing on” that I look forward to least. But seriously, congrats on that first request for a partial, as it is always better to be asked for more than simply told no.
I think this is why I am so comfortable writing short stories and selling to semi-pro magazines (well, a professionally paying magazine would be nice, I won’t argue that). For them, you write a story and just send it in. No query letter, no synopsis, just you and your words. It is much easier on the brain.
But novels are where it is at, truthfully. Money and fame and comfortable living (for some).
Best of luck this weekend with the writing shtuff. I hope you don’t actually turn into a gooey puddle. 😛
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Just the thought of the query process makes me queasy. Guess that’s why I haven’t managed to take the plunge yet.
I just keep reminding myself: whether or not I eventually get published depends as much upon whether or not some agent or editor thinks that they can move 10,000 units of my book as it does with how good the book actually is (I could name some very popular (i.e.: well selling) authors I know who I consider to be total hacks who should never, ever, ever think about putting another word down on paper again but I won’t; it’s bad for the karma).
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Paul: Thanks for the luck. It has been slow but fairly productive. Daily comics have taken a back seat this weekend…hope it doesn’t show on Monday!
Woodstock: It sucks, I’m not gonna lie to you. It is critical that you remember, and you already seem to know so that should help you, that truly the submission (and acceptance/rejection) process really does not at all tell you if your book is good or not. If it did, there would not be the horrible horrible massive piles of crap out there that are obviously, well, out there. Taste is SO subjective and we’ve got no control over it. That said, anyone with half a brain can only take so much rejection without getting disheartened and giving up (for me that’s like two no response on queries and one partial request followed by a rejection apparently). But you have to do it. You have to just dig in your heels and do it, otherwise the crappy books will win and there will be nothing good out there.
Don’t put it off too long either, I put this off for years and now I’m kicking myself that I didn’t start three years ago…think how far ahead I’d be by now!
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