craptastic

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this is not the planet i want to be living on…how do i get off?

September 21, 2007 in comics, craptastic, daniel clowes, rants | 5 comments

Less than 5 days after posting the Daniel Clowes NY Times Weekly Strip on my blog, I came across this blurb on Vulture about this article.

What is the world coming to? How did Americans…a people that should be like the revolutionary teenagers of the universe (making idiot rookie mistakes but being young and confident and full of ideas about change and pushing limits) become the fucking scared conservative old woman of the world? When did this happen? WHY?

Yesterday it is cover stories about genital cutting and today it is about censorship in schools, it’s too much. If the father of this girl (who is a complete ass) would read a book once in a while maybe they would realize that their daughter is actually better off being challenged by teachers that don’t have blinders on.

I have read the book in question and while I will concede that it is debatable as to whether it is definitely appropriate for a 14 year old (it really depends on the 14 year old I suspect) I can also say in no uncertain terms that I WISH I had been given something like this by a teacher. Something that actually was outside the box. Something that made me think and/or feel. One of the mother’s complaints is that the teacher asked the student “how does this make you feel?” she said it like that was an inappropriate (read: pornographic) question for a teacher to ask a student…are we really no longer even allowed to FEEL? Is it wrong to read something that causes you to feel something more than the crappy television shows that just wash right over you? Is it a crime to challenge a student to not just do the assignment but to be challenged to answer tough questions about it? I just can’t believe this. If I had been given things like this when I was kid, maybe I would have learned something about life and what else was out there much sooner…as is, I feel like I had to hunt down every single thing I have learned…if ONLY someone could have handed me something that would have challenged me…think what I could have been.

I’m so disappointed in this planet and especially my backwards fucking nation. Stop the planet, I’d like to get off please.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2007/09/daniel_clowes_pornographer.html

the first 14 minutes of The Bionic Woman…oy.

September 20, 2007 in craptastic, rants, television reviews | 2 comments

the first 14 minutes of the Bionic Woman have been posted online, click below to watch, but be warned, you will probably want to claw your eyes out, even if there are no bionic eyes with which to replace them. it is a pretty horrible 14 minutes.  i don’t know how hard you have to try to write something this terrible.  and it’s a real feat to get actors that are equally as terrible as the writing.  whoo-hoo!  the only bright spot seems to be Katee Sackhoff, but even that stuff is stiff and frustratingly stupid.

i promised myself i would sit through the hour long premiere…boy do i hate it when i promise myself stuff.  yuck.

http://video.aol.com/video/tv-bionic-woman-2-acts/1970902

check out the cast shot below, how do you make even a simple cast shot look lame? the show is called the bionic woman for chrissake…i mean you actually have to work hard to make that boring…congrats guys.

bionicwomancast.jpg

UPDATE:  looks like they have pulled the first 14 minutes of the net (could it be because it sucks?)…the link above no longer works and i can’t find a duplicate that is the same as the one i originally posted.  interestingly enough there was an older 4 minute trailer on youtube that had very similar scenes but with a different “sister character” (pictured above actually) who is deaf (like in the original Bionic Woman).  i think it’s a mistake that they changed this direction, at least it would have given something unique to the show.  also, it’s annoying that they went with the “cuter, slimer, bitchier and more annoying” actress that is also not deaf as the sister.  not that i’m shocked.  it sounds about par for the course.

#1 – comic of the week – the premiere strip!

September 19, 2007 in comic of the week, comics, craptastic, writing | 11 comments

so i thought about spending all this time prefacing the strip, saying how this is not the style i hope this strip will turn into, that i am still experimenting with brush pens since my inking is so shitty in this one, that i would prefer to use a standard three panel strip but that more often than not my “gags” need more flexibility than that, that i have been sketching a lot to try to bring my drawing level back to what it was three years ago (which was still not great), that the only thing i draw worse than drawing myself is a big perspective shot, that i’ve always been and always will be a better writer than an artist – so hopefully the writing gags will rescue the pitiful art…whatever…it’s all just bs.  here’s the strip and we’ll see what comes of it.  enjoy – and thanks for reading.  as always, your feedback is welcome…unless it’s about the shape of Adam’s head (Josh that means you!)

ps – i was trying to think of a good name for this strip, but everything i came up with was incredibly cheesy…so suggestions are welcome.  if someone actually comes up with a great title that i can use maybe they could win a crappy original sketch…signed by yours truly…

the formatting of this blog is not great for comics as the column is too thin.  i’m going to have to consider changing my format if comics are going to continue to be at the forefront on this blog.  in the meantime, you need to click the thumbnail below to get a readable version.

_001ktcomicstripr.jpg

penn station sucks

July 27, 2007 in ass, craptastic | 4 comments

okay, i know i should get shit for not having ever been to Penn Station after living in New York for 2 years (and three months) however, after having been there this morning at 6am, i have to say, “what the fuck?”  there is no reason to go to this crap hole on purpose unless you cannot avoid it.  as my co-worker Jason would say, “it is Craptastic!” perhaps i have been pampered too much by my frequent trips to Grand Central Station, but having now seen the other option, why would i ever go back to Penn unless i had a gun to my head?  in fact, when we have something as well, GRAND as Grand Central, it is insulting to also have something like Penn Station.  first of all, the shit, as far as i can tell is not air-conditioned…and in 6am 90 degree august New York humid ass heat, that is unenjoyable to say the least.  second, the layout/organization is ridiculous…the signage is third-rate at best and i, a pretty efficient and sufficient new yorker that gets around the city just fine had to ask for directions, which i never do…i pity the poor tourists from well, anywhere really.  third, the line is tremendous.  having never been there before and not knowing exactly what i was getting into i arrived quite early for my train, but no fewer than six people in front of me missed their trains while standing in the massive queue to get a ticket, or to pick one up.  i realize now i could have used the kiosk probably to get my ticket, but initially only saw kiosks that were out of order with signs that looked written by six year olds (how classy and modern).  a giant fan was cooling the giant queue line and let me tell you that was REALLY working (read: intense sarcasm).  fourth, once you have your ticket you have to stand like an idiot with a crowd of other idiots staring at a giant updating screen like it is a god, waiting for your train to be posted so you know what gate you are going to, then when you (and everyone else) sees what gate you belong at there is a massive disorganized run, which is borderline dangerous if you’re going to a popular destination.  there is no getting a coffee and settling in with a book to wait for your train, there aren’t even really any chairs, well not where i was.  fifth, they should have a warning sign about the bathrooms, or perhaps they just shouldn’t have bathrooms…not only were they disgusting and scary and crowded (at 6 am no less) but i saw the biggest fucking cockroach i have seen since moving to new york hanging out casually in one of the bathrooms…so advanced was this mutant cockroach, i think it asked me if i could spare a square.  here’s the good news…the train itself was lovely.  a nice scenic little trip, not crowded and insanely comfortable, especially when compared with flying coach these days…which i can’t even get into and i will be having to do in six days…oy!…curse my long ass legs and round ass (we won’t get into how big or small…we’re just going with round).  

so in the final analysis…

train travel?  yea!

Amtrak?  undecided

Penn Station?  burn it to the ground 

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