i read two more books this weekend, both non-fiction, which is not usually my style, although one is probably considered self-help more than non-fiction (self-help being even less my style) and the other, though in no way considered self-help by the world at large i read largely for “self-help” reasons. my this got complicated fast.
both books came to me on recommendation of my therapist. yes, i have a therapist. in fact, i believe it is required by law that you start seeing a therapist within two years of entering the state of New York (i made it just under the wire). anyway, both books were good recommendations, which i hope means i’m getting the right kind of mental help…okay, onto the reviews…
#30. Susie Orbach On Eating. By Susie Orbach. Self Help/Non-Fiction. 3 stars.
i’m giving this 3 stars for now, with the option to re-evaluate it after i have the chance to embrace some of her “teachings” this month. if the shit works then i reserve the right to raise it to 4 stars (hell, if the shit REALLY works then 5 stars here we come). what is good about this book, regardless of whether what Orbach preaches works for me or not is that this is the non-diet diet book, and not in the way that still means there is “diet” inside. Orbach talks about no diet. she just talks about living, which is incredibly refreshing. there is no health bar or microwave meal tie in. there are no “real-life” stories of stars (or normal folks), it’s just some common freaking sense…which made A LOT of sense.
Orbach has five basic rules about food and life, that actually are pretty basic and are probably how people used to eat and live back before we all became obsessed with being thin and living up to unrealistic ideals and waif looks…when people were more concerned with real problems (survival?) than with the more vain (and i include myself here) problems of looking like the latest best looking bitch on the block.
Orbach does say that people’s bodies have a personal set point that our bodies are comfortable with. i’ve always believed this personally (depsite the fact that i know for a fact that my body’s set point is far lower than where i’ve put myself) but i have many beautiful female friends that live their lives unhappily, or who don’t quite live at all because of those final ten pounds they can’t manage to shake. i just want to shake them and say “Your body has a personal set point! You are at that set point! Just be happy and live damnit!” i somehow suspect this would not go over well.
anyway, i think everyone, or at least every woman should read this book, even if it doesn’t work (we’ll see) then at least it gives a person a different way about thinking about this life pbsession that has somehow grabbed us while we weren’t looking and overcome everything that life was supposed to be about.
#31. Lust In Translation: The Rules of Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee. Pamela Druckerman. Non-Fiction. 3.5 stars.
this is not my kind of book, but i enjoyed it enough to think about exploring some other non-fiction that i’ve been interested in lately. i read this for edification and to a lesser extent “self-help purposes”. i’ve been thinking a lot about infidelity this year (long story, don’t ask) and this book was both really helpful and also upsetting.
it’s hard for me to review non-fiction with any kind of intelligence, since i’m sadly so out of my depth in the field. suffice to say i learned a great deal from this book and i felt it was well pieced together and well researched. though the facts and percentages were necessary, they were certainly the least interesting aspects of the book, most riveting were the author’s personal stories and experiences, which were often fascinating.
on a personal note, i find infidelity infinitely depressing. i have to admit and accept that it is a reality in the world and more specifically in my life and the lives of people all around me. this is, as said, infinitely depressing. it also has created an issue with me and men (a group i BARELY trusted prior to this past year) and it has amped up my interest in militant feminism (which i have also had to accept i will never achieve, i’m just not the girl for it, i want to be, but i’m just not).
here’s the bottom line i guess for me at this point in my life: the person i am closest to in my life is a man. he is my best friend and just about my everything. yet i have learned that ultimately, no matter how much i want to trust him and give over everything to him in the pursuit of romantic love and a happy future together, i must keep part of myself removed, because ultimately i cannot trust him, not necessarily because of who he is, but just because of who people are. people belong only to themselves and as much as i want he and i to possess one another, it can just never be as complete as i’d like it to be. i doubt he would like hearing this (and he will i’m sure read it here and not like it) but i suspect that he does the same thing in our relationship, but perhaps with less deliberate intention, perhaps just with a more natural survival instinct. i suppose i just find it truly and heartbreakingly sad that someone wants to give so much of themselves, but has been hurt too badly to be able to do that in their lives. after reading this book i know that the one thing i am in the world, is not alone in being hurt.
maybe time heals it, i have no idea, although i guess i’ll find out.
suffice to say a tough read, but i’m glad i read it.
