x-men

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Now’s your chance!

Nick Marino of AudioShocker very kindly let me guest star on his superfun weekly podcast with Wetmoon and Shadoweyes creator Ross Campbell and Nick’s his dulcet toned girlfriend Justique as they talked about X-Men The Animated Series, Season One, Episode 2 (we talked about other things too, but I was mostly there as the nostalgic counter point to tearing the animated series to pieces).

Part 1 went up today, and because I can’t shut up, there will be a part 2, going up on Saturday October 9th.  Check them out if you’ve been dying to get more of me (I mean, who isn’t?!).

Nick, Justique, and Ross are planning to watch and discuss the entire series (good luck dudes) and I’ll be popping in from time to time because who doesn’t want to be the “guest star”?

 

Ah, animated series Rogue, my first love.

 

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I know I already tweeted about this…but many of you don’t follow me on twitter yet (what’s up with that by the way?!) and quite frankly I’m still (a week later) thinking about how much I love it.  Faith Erin Hicks Wolverine Short Story.  It’s made of awesome.

Page 1 of Faith Erin Hicks Wolvie Story

The only thing I like more than “grouchy bathrobe wearing babysitting mutants Wolverine” is “happy to be running in a field with deer Wolverine”.  The whole adorable story is here.  Definitely check it out.

And if you’re not already following me on twitter…get on it!…@79SemiFinalist.

I was so excited to see the solicit image for the cover to X-Men Legacy #234.  It features my girl Rogue and is not only beautiful and awesome, but is a far cry from the costume bullshit she’s been putting up with lately.  Unfortunately however, my joy was short lived, because I then went to read the accompanying solicit text.

Before I post the solicit text let’s all agree on what this cover is suggesting.  To me, this cover is Rogue saying (both with her hand gesture and her expression), effectively “Bring it on.  I am a badass and I will take on all comers.” Something to that effect.  I assume because she is gaining control of her powers and becoming an even more powerful superhero (one of the most powerful) this is her, showing off a bit.  I love it.  And then here’s the solicit text for the issue (and if you’re not familiar with Rogue, until recently she was unable to touch another human being flesh to flesh without injuring or killing them).

Solicit For X-Men Legacy #234: Rogue has survived a lot in her day, but can she survive the men warring for her heart? It’s not the first time several men have courted the Southern Belle, but it is the first time she can actually do anything about it.  Who will she chose? You’ll be shocked!

Okay, so now we have a problem.  Because the cover suggests ‘bring it on – and I’ll take on all comers’ and now we find out that the issue is about Rogue’s romantic and sexual relationships…which puts a whole other super icky porno spin on the cover.  I mean maybe I’ve just seen way too much porn in my life and so I’m going to a place that not everyone will go to (I certainly hope that’s the case) but I’m hard pressed to see what else this cover is supposed to suggest than ‘open for business boys.’  Which is just…icky.

So I’m really disappointed in this.  I just don’t know how there aren’t people in some kind of quality control position at Marvel who can look up and go, “Guys…we’ve got a problem…”

Apparently my angry cries of foul on Rogue’s bullshit new costume that is constantly unzipped to her navel have fallen on deaf ears.  The evidence?  The X-Men Legacy cover #232.  SIGH.  Oh comics.  I don’t know why I continue to love you when you treat me so.  I’m just glutton for punishment I suppose.

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From X-men Legacy Annual #1 – which promises a BOLD NEW DIRECTION!

Bold new direction my ass.

Looks like the same old misogynistic bullshit to me.

I mean, SERIOUSLY?  I am so tired of this shit.

Just because a girl got some control of her borderline deadly skin touch, does not mean she’s all, “OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WILL SERIOUSLY UNZIP MY NEW OUTFIT TO SOMEWHERE BELOW MY BOOBS…FOR THE ENTIRE ISSUE!”

C’mon people, it’s shit like this that makes me wonder why the hell I’m still bothering with superhero comics.

Also, as I’ve discussed before in my Catwoman post this outfit is like physically impossible.  I know comics require a certain suspension of disbelief, but this is the kind of crap that just pushes me over the edge – that zipper would have to be governed by otherworldy forces or some kind of magic to stay in that position for one panel, let alone the whole issue.  The pressure of those massive boobs on a zipper?  Just going to unzip the whole damn thing. Which is maybe the point, which is even MORE annoying.  Also, there’s a difference between an outfit designed a bit low cut or showing some cleav, and one that the character actively CHOOSES to wear ZIPPED DOWN TO THEIR STOMACH.  C’MON!!!!

Hey comic book artists!  These are the kind of things that make people think you’ve never touched (or even seen?) real boobs. Get a freaking clue.

This crap keeps setting us back.  Marvel, please take a note, are you ready?  UR DOING IT WRONG.

Apparently some of you are woefully uneducated when it comes to Vampirella…let me educate you.  Above is an awesome sketch of Vampirella by the legendary Bruce Timm. Below is a totally different less cartoon-y (and more like she is usually handled in the comics) version of Vampirella by the brilliant Adam Hughes.

And here’s a link to Vampirella on wikipedia so you can read all about the strangeness that is the creation of this totally slutty looking “heroine” (anti-heroine?) known as Vampirella.

Why don’t you, my valued readers, know about these things?!  I know how much you appreciate me for bringing you this vital knowledge that surely you could not have gotten through another day without…no thanks are necessary…

For more fun, here’s some other great Adam Hughes superhero-ish art.  The X-men, or rather X-women (my girl Rogue on the left there)…

And a great one of Catwoman

And I don’t even read Powergirl or know much about her except that her costume is stupid considering her physique and that they did a fun Project:Rooftop on her, but this image by Hughes is fantastic.

Definitely Hollywood.

Let me just say, before everyone (anyone?) jumps all over me for not liking the first two Spiderman movies, I will give the people involved credit for really trying, but it just didn’t work for me.  The dialogue, the kind that DOES work well in a comic book, was laughable on the big screen.  They also had a huge strike against them in that I cannot stand Kristen Dunst, and so to buy her as Mary Jane is difficult for me and frankly I just don’t want to make myself do it.  I will admit that I find the train sequence in Spiderman 2 to be shockingly powerful.  I almost cried the first time I saw that scene…which was a huge surprise to me since I found the rest of the movie to be pretty terrible.  Let’s talk about the new Incredible Hulk movie for just a second.  Why the F’ is this movie being made?  I don’t know anyone who is interested in seeing this movie.  How did the project get a greenlight?  Just because Edward Norton was interested?  I really don’t understand.  The first film, only five years ago by my beloved Ang Lee was a very obvious and horrible miss (I’ve seen enough of the horror to agree – though I never saw the whole thing), so why is there a need for another bad Hulk?  Looks terrible.

You’ll notice I only really included the “new” comic book movies, I didn’t go all the way back (too much work) and deal with the original Superman series, and the Batman movies and all that.  Suffice to say most of those are hit and miss…I mean is there anything better than Michelle Pfieffer’s Catwoman in Batman Returns?  Is there anything worse that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin?  No.  No there is not.

Also absent off my list this morning I realized is Sin City.  I have issues with Sin City.  I love the graphic novels by Frank Miller, and I really wanted to love the movies because I respected the exact literal translation they did for the film, and I also respected Robert Rodriguez for giving Frank Miller co-directing credit (it was well deserved) even though it consequently got Rodriguez kicked out of the Directors Union (jerks and their jerky rules).  But for me, it doesn’t really work on screen.  The exact translation, much like in Spiderman, involves behaviour and dialogue that feels stilted and false, or worse laughable.  Which is really sad, because it had my beloved and adored Clive Owen in it, among other talented powerhouses…but it doesn’t matter, it still ultimately failed.

The best of the best, for me, in comic book films, are the first two X-Men films by Bryan Singer.  I never would have expected to like these films because X-Men were my favorite comics growing up and so they were precious to me like few other characters and stories.  But Singer handled the material expertly.  He understood that a direct translation of what was in the comic books would not work on the big screen, but he also understood that these were truly beloved characters that had to be treated with respect.  He did treat them with respect, and he stayed as true as he could to their personalities and storylines, and as such he established the standard on which future comic book movies should be built. 

I’m finally seeing Iron Man this weekend, and I have high hopes that my beloved Jon Favreau built his Iron Man on these standards.  If the masses can be believed, he did, and he was successful. 

Sidenote:  Though Singer gets mad props for the first two X-Men films, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to forgive him for abandoning X-Men 3 (one of the worst comic book films of all time), allowing a hack like Brett Ratner to get ahold of my beloved characters; and all so that he could make a terrible new Superman movie. 

Sidenote 2:  Sin City is when I first really lost respect for Jessica Alba – there were plenty of opportunities to lose respect for her prior to this I know – but this one sealed the deal.  The fact that she plays a stripper, but doesn’t take her top off?  C’mon.  If Nancy from the Sin City graphic novels didn’t take her top off I’d be okay with it, but Nancy is topless for at least 30 to 40 percent of her time in Miller’s books – so what happened to our frame for frame literal translation?  Suddenly Jessica Alba’s boobs are so precious they can’t be shown?  They should have gotten a real woman, who could have respected the material and the character more than her “precious reputation” which is crappy anyway.  Boo to Jessica Alba (who I’ve always wanted to like – ever since the surprisingly good Idle Hands). 

Sidenote 3:  Apparently the world and I are very in synch, as I found today, the 20 worst comic book movies of all time on EW. I don’t know that I agree with their order (is it even in order? I can’t tell) but I agree that all the films on the list well deserve to be there.  Except maybe Barbarella.  Not that Barbarella is a great film, but the clothes and craziness alone should maybe save it from the list.  Notably missing are Hack Ratner’s X-Men 3; Lee’s Hulk; Spiderman 3; and Fantastic Four #2 (though it’s at least implied that the whole Fantastic Four franchise is terrible).   

Yes Anna Paquin, I know, I know.  I’m just making the world a more horrible place, and sending more and more people that are just looking for gratuitous celebrity nudity to my blog (where they will ultimately be disappointed)…but what can a girl do?  I’m desperate for a good strip these days…no pun intended.

My weekend was pretty much a bust.  I got two important errands done on Saturday, and I managed to write about 2,500 words on Sunday (yes, took me ALL day to get my ass in the chair at 5pm and write 2,500 words) but I got nothing else done.  I didn’t accomplish even a third of my to do list…which leaves me with a deadline to meet by Wednesday…that is going to be nigh impossible.  But wish my lazy ass luck anyway.  How about you guys?  Good weekend?  Bad?  C’mon, make me feel better…

 

Best Books READ of 2007 (fiction)

It turns out that 5 of my 10 best books of 2007 were in fact published in 2007, and an additional 2 were paperbacks which were released in 2007…so this list has more validity than I expected. Yay for me!…

You can also read Part One and Part Two if you’re feeling left out.

10. Lady Into Fox, By David Garnett. Originally published in 1922, Reprinted by McSweeney’s in 2004.

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I’m hesitant to write complicated reviews of each of these books, since I’ve already done that in review format over the year, so I’m just going to link to them here and add a sentence or two if I feel so moved…okay? Great. So Lady Into Fox really surprised the hell out of me. It’s never a book I would have expected to make a top for the year list for me, but I really ended up loving this bizarre story of love and loss…it’s a great creative metaphor for a lot of other things in life. Read more about Lady Into Fox here.

09. Water For Elephants, By Sara Gruen. Published in 2006 (the softcover – which I read – 2007).

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Water For Elephants surprised me as well, if only because I don’t consider myself a NY Times Bestseller reader in general, but this book was really beautiful and well conceived. I finished it quickly, which is always a great compliment. Read more about Water For Elephants here.

08. Midnight At the Dragon Cafe, By Judy Fong Bates. Published in 2004 (the softcover – which I read – 2005).

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I adored China Dog, Bates book of short fiction, and didn’t figure Midnight At The Dragon Cafe could live up, but I loved this as well. Bates has a brilliant way of turning a story on its ear, just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, read more about Dragon Cafe here.

07. Astonishing X-Men #1 – #22, By Joss Whedon & John Cassaday. Published in issues 2006 – 2007.

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I can’t say enough good things about this collection, and my only complaint is that it’s ending soon. The last issue of this arc is due to come out soon, and it will signal the end of the Whedon/Cassaday team up. I’m very sad about it, although maybe it means Planetary will someday get finished? One can only hope. Read more here.

06. St. Lucy’s Home For Girl’s Raised By Wolves, By Karen Russel. Published in 2006 (the softcover – which I read – 2007).

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This was a great and really creative collection. The title really beautifully summarized what I should expect and it totally delivered. Read more about St. Lucy’s Home For Girls Raised By Wolves here.

05. Shortcomings, By Adrian Tomine. Published in collected hardcover format, in 2007.

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I’m a huge Tomine fan and Shortcomings is just a beautiful beautiful work. Read more here.

04. One Hundred And Forty-Five Stories In A Small Box, By Dave Eggers, Sarah Manguso, and Deb Olin Unferth. Published in 2007.

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I knew this was going to be great, with the creative format and the brilliant ideas that McSweeney’s is always swinging around, but I was unprepared for how much I was going to love both Eggers and Manguso’s books. Manguso’s collection stands out particularly as wildly creative and heartbreaking, although Eggers has my favorite piece overall. Read more here.

03. Famous Father’s Other Stories, By Pia Z. Ehrhardt. Published in 2007.

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Ehrhardt was a new author for me and I was incredibly impressed. A wonderful collection. Read more about Famous Fathers & Other Stories here.

02. The Brief Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao, By Junot Diaz. Published in 2007.

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I freaking LOVED this book. It blew me away, and was an excellent way to end the year. I had been anxiously awaiting Diaz’s follow up novel (like everyone else) after I was shocked by his wonderful first book Drown, a collection of short stories. This far surpasses Drown in so many ways. I don’t care how long I have to wait for the next one, so long as it is as good. Read more about The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao here.

01. The Road, By Cormac McCarthy. Published in 2006.

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What can I say? You don’t win the Pulitzer for writing a mediocre book. I haven’t ready any of McCarthy’s other works, and I’m very intrigued as I love his style, but I suspect he won’t ever be able to hit closer to home for me than he did with this book. Reading The Road was a singular experience that I will always cherish, and sadly, probably never duplicate…but I’ll spend my life trying. Read more about The Road here.

Honorable Mentions: You Are A Little Bit Happier Than I Am – Tao Lin (Poetry); Tell Me Why – Clare Jacobsen (Non-Fiction); Superbad – Ben Greenman (Short Fiction); No One Belongs Here More Than You – Miranda July (Short Fiction); Transparency – Frances Hwang (Short Fiction); and The Walking Dead – Robert Kirkman & Charlie Adlard (Graphic Fiction/Comic Book Series).

Worst Book Of The Year: I’m not going to say. I know that’s a cop out, but it’s easier than explaining why it is the worst book I read this year. And words like “bitter” would surely be tossed around in the comments section and y’know what? I don’t need that. :0

I’ve spent a lot of time on this site talking about comic book artists and cartoonists that I admire and adore, but let us take a moment to talk about one of the (if not THE) most hated comic book artists in all of history, Rob Liefield.  I am hesitant to talk about terrible artists, because I consider myself a pretty terrible artist and somehow it just seems a bit mean, however, I currently make $0 on my terrible art and comics while Liefeld has made millions, MILLIONS, which I’m sorry to say, opens him up for some serious criticism.  Criticism which has finally found a brilliant and hilarious voice with this “Liefeld Expose” on Progressive Boink

I, like legions of others, have always hated his art – and let’s not forget that on top of the digusting ridiculous art he also can’t write or plot his way out of a paper bag.  Most of us still ended up with a surprising amount of his work in our comic boxes (for me it was X-Force…poor poor X-Force…*sigh*).  This is eternally frustrating, especially since I continue to lack the ability to go back in time and correct past mistakes.   Anyway, for those who don’t know, not only is Liefeld a complete hack, but he’s also, by all reports, an arrogant ass, and again, he made MILLIONS off us…and is somehow STILL getting work…how is this possible?  Check out Progressive Boink, and have some brilliant laughs (my favorite is the bit about the “billions of teeth” on #16 – HA!) and maybe it will help you feel a little better, if you like me, EVER purchased a Liefeld book.

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