rejection

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Hmmm.  Woke up today to a rejection email on my blackberry.  Not going to go down as one of my favorite ways to wake up.  It’s certainly not as good as Paul’s wake up to acceptance.  I like this piece that just got rejected, I think it’s pretty strong, for the first time I was actually surprised about a rejection (e.g. the piece was strong and the publication seemed right for it and not TOO respectable and difficult to get in to). 

Anyway, rejection rejection rejection…see they always come in painful little clumps.  I guess I should expect a few more this month.  I’ve got three more piece out there (one WAY overdue from McSweeney’s) awaiting rejection, and a handful of stories – between four and six that should go out for submission in the next month.  I’m going to try to stay focused on that…

Another rejection. Sigh. These things seem to come in groups, so I’m steeling myself for a few more.

This was an official rejection from the smallish literary agency that had a partial of my book (since January). I was optimistic (until recently) on this one because they’re a small house that seemed to have a lot in common with me, and my work, but alas it is not to be. For the record the rejection was quite nice, though it is likely their form rejection as it doesn’t even have “Dear Ms. Thompson” on it. It’s nice that they have a “nice” form rejection, but after two personal emails to me and keeping my 50 page partial for almost five months it would have been nice to get something at least SLIGHTLY personalized.

Oh well, onto the next. Here’s the summary for those keeping track.

#1. Partial Requested and Rejected. Took about seven weeks from receipt of partial. Door left open to submit future work.

#2. Never heard back on regular mail Query. Over six months ago, considered Rejected.

#3. Never heard back on email Query. Almost six months ago, considered Rejected.

#4. Partial Requested and Rejected. Took five months from receipt of partial.

#5. Full Requested. Full Sent. Manuscript sent four months ago. Emailed three weeks ago as follow up, no response as yet.

#6. No response to email query. Almost five months out, considered a Rejection at this point.

#7. Rejection to regular mail query from huge agency, about a ten week turnaround.

#8. Rejected Query, about a 30 hour turnaround.

So, five rejected queries; two rejected partials; one requested full. And no more queries living in oblivion. Time to slam my nose into the grindstone again it seems. Oy.

And so it ends.  I got my last short fiction rejection for the group of eight that had been sent out.  This rejection was from Zoetrope All-Story, and was fully expected, as Zoetrope is a literary magazine of the highest order – recently Wes Anderson had a piece published…WES ANDERSON!…I cannot compete with Wes Anderson! 

Ahem.  Anyway, so suffice to say I wasn’t surprised.  What did totally surprise me was the shockingly encouraging handwritten note on the back.  If you’re gonna get a rejection, that is the kind to get, so thank you Zoetrope, for um, rejecting me.

So I don’t feel so bad, and already have another piece in mind to revise and submit to them (even though it seems like aiming for the sun).  I’m actually in the process of editing/revising/rewriting a whole new batch and sending them out again. 

Wish me luck…and for the record, here’s the new count:

1 for 8

:(

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Ah, rejection.  There’s nothing like the smell of rejection first thing in the morning on your way to your writing group.  Sunday I got a little form rejection card on the query for my novel to a huge agency.   Since it was for a HUGE and seriously major house, and my work is not necessarily mainstream, I’m not really surprised, but it’s still a bummer. 

Here’s the latest summary:

#1:  Partial Requested and Rejected. Door left nicely open to submit my graphic novel when further along (it is sadly not further along).

#2:  Never heard from them, which is frustrating as they show a 3 -4 week turnaround and I think I got lost in the shuffle (or am up on previously mentioned “laughing board”).  I have also submitted this “no reponse to a query, though they say they will get back to the sender regardless” question to an “advice” blog, called The Rejecter…one week out. 

#3:  Dead.  No response to email query.  I’m considering it a rejection.

#4.  Requested Partial.  Sent Partial (first five chapters) via mail about ten weeks ago – no word yet. 

#5.  Full Requested.  Sent Full via mail about seven weeks ago – no word yet.

#6.  No response to email query as yet, about ten weeks out.

#7.  Rejection to regular mail query from HUGE agency, about a ten week turnaround.

#8.  Rejected Query.

So, 3 Rejected Queries; 1 Rejected Partial;  1 Requested Partial;  1 Requested full; 2 Queries still living in limbo…not so bad, although worse than the last time I posted an update.  Please continue crossing your fingers and holding your breath for a couple more months okay?  Thanks.

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Excellent news!  Got a request for a full version of my manuscript yesterday via email.  For those keeping score (wait, is that just me?) here’s the summary:

#1:  Partial Requested and Rejected. Door left nicely open to submit graphic novel when further along

#2:  Never heard from them, going to resubmit the query as they show a 3 -4 week turnaround and I think I got lost in the shuffle (or am up on previously mentioned “laughing board”).

#3:  Dead.  No response to email query.  I’m considering it a rejection.

#4.  Requested Partial.  Sent Partial (first 5 chapters) via mail about two and a half weeks ago – no word yet. 

#5.  Full Requested.  Full will be sent via mail tomorrow 2/14/08.

#6.  No response to email query as yet, about 4 weeks out.

#7.  No response to regular mail query as yet to HUGE agency, about 3 1/2 weeks out.

#8.  Rejected Query.

So, 2 Rejected Queries; 1 Rejected Partial;  1 Requested Partial;  1 Requested full; 3 Queries still living in limbo…not bad.  Everyone cross your fingers and hold your breath for about three months okay?  Thanks.

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Following through on my mind-numbing research, I submitted five queries for my book this week. 

Three via email, as it was the “preferred method” for those agencies, one via regular mail, and one with their “online form” which is that agency’s preferred method.  I hated using the online form, however I must confess that it does eliminate a lot of the mistakes it is so easy to make when querying. 

Five queries still isn’t exactly a wide net, and it only brings my total since August 2007 to eight, but I figured I’d track them here (much like my short fiction submissions) so you could all share in the anguish (lucky you!). 

Of the 8 Queries, they languish in these stages:

My first query, we’ll call it Query #1 (shocker), received a request for a partial.  Partial was then rejected within about two months, with a few helpful and some not so helpful comments.  Agent did nicely leave the door open for me to send my graphic novel when complete (or further along) which is great. 

#2, submitted via regular mail almost three months ago.  This agency claims to respond to queries within 3 -4 weeks.  Hmm.  Did I get lost in the mail?  Did they hate it so much that it’s pinned up on some “laughing board” (I made that up…but it totally exists in my paranoid mind).  Is it just a mistake…should I re-query?  Ah, questions with no answers – love them!

#3, submitted via email 3 weeks ago, no reponse as yet.  This agency does not promise to get back to you if they’re not interested.  Sigh.

#4, #5, and #6 submitted via email this week.  Of those, #6 got back to me within 24 hours with an incredibly nice note and a request for a partial (first five chapters) and bio etc.  Nothing yet on #4 and #5.

#7 submitted via regular mail this week to a HUGE agency which I have little hope of cracking.

#8 submitted via “online agency form” this week, which was rejected within, I think, 18 hours.  Sarcastic Joy!

So there it is.  Of eight agency queries, two have requested partials, one never got back to me, one rejected me immediately, and four are still out there simmering.  It’s hard to feel too badly about this when I’ve gotten two hits, out of four…that’s 50% and that’s pretty damn good.  If the other four come back as rejections though those numbers will not look so great.

It’s also sad to realize that my strength may in fact be in query letter writing and not in novel writing.  *big sigh*

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Ack. I think we, and by we I mean the insanely talented but tortured writers out there (joke), all feel this way about the query letter process. I don’t know about many other actual personal experiences outside of my own (except what I read about on my best friend ‘the interwebs’) but for me I can’t decide if I’ve been blessed or cursed.

I had the advantage/disadvantage of having my very first agent query letter (to the agent I researched and really really thought I wanted) come back within a week with an email request for a partial (the first 50 pages). JOY! This partial was rejected by email about 2 months later with some helpful (and some less than helpful) notes. Less than joy.

I have sent two queries since – one has been out there for almost three months with no response and the other for three weeks with no response. I completely recognize that this is not exactly a “wide net” to cast. I also recognize that I already have great statistics considering what I’ve actually put out there and the response I’ve gotten. It it still a completely frustrating and self destructive process. Also, I felt good initially that though my first agent didn’t want me or my book he apparently thought I had a good query letter. Good right? A good query letter is almost as good as a good novel…yet no response to my new queries, which though tailored to the specific agents, were largely the same as the first. *SIGH* Apparently my query letter was not made of magic.

I often wish I could be one of those writers that is totally convinced they are brilliant – and that their novel is the best novel ever written. Although agents, and agent assistants, and really everyone, hates those kind of people and nine times out of ten (okay ten times out of ten) they’re delusional anyway, it still must be nice to just feel so confident in your work. I have doubts about my work every moment…actually that’s a lie, I vacillate wildly (especially when I’m actually writing) between “I AM A GOLDEN GOD! I AM A GENIUS!” to ten minutes later “I AM THE WORST OF HACKS. I AM THE HACKIEST HACKY HACK HACK THAT EVER DARED SIT AT A COMPUTER”. These two thoughts can be about the exact same sentence, plot, arc, character, or even title, merely ten minutes apart.

I think I’m also pretty realistic about the state of ‘the process’ and the state of publishing in general. The reality is that you CAN actually have written a great book and that STILL does not mean you are ever getting published…so what hope is there for those of us that maybe have a great book idea that is maybe well written or is maybe timely…it’s pretty debilitating.

I am making a concerted effort this weekend though, no excuses and “sad pile of low self-esteem and mania” be damned, to cast a wide net of query letters. Look out world…a mediocre bi-polar mess is comin’ out…

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